Coach Dykes Out: Women's Basketball Still Boring.

LSU women's basketball makes the Final Four, and you'd expect more attention to the sport. Pokey Chatman, LSU's coach, was fired earlier this month for hooking up with her players. Is anyone even slightly surprised this happened? I half-expected all after game speeches to be, "Great game tonight girls. We really fought back hard to win this one. Stacey, did you bring the strap-on this time?"

How many players have I fucked? This many!

I think it'd probably come as less of a surprise if Coach K had done the same thing. That's probably why he doesn't recruit black players any more. After Shelden Williams, he had to give his glory-hole a rest. Only Greg Paulus' tender kisses can put that first round loss at ease.

Women's sports will never get widespread attention for a simple reason; they should be cooking and cleaning! But seriously, the only two sports that even get a little recognition are tennis and golf. Who doesn't love hearing Maria Sharapova's grunts or seeing Michelle Wie handle a shaft? I blame my fetish of underage Asian girls. Look, we gave you the right to vote, that should cover us for like 200 years.

If you want me to watch women's college basketball, make the baskets shorter, set shots illegal, and each school send a cheerleader to my house. She should be double-jointed without a gag reflex.